Commitment and Re-commitment
People often think of commitment as an event, not a process or habit that goes on all the time.
Getting married or moving in together requires a significant commitment. We do, however, make a few smaller daily commitments that have an impact on our relationships and overall happiness.
Commitment is a process that evolves and changes over time – it’s more like a series of recommitments than one big decision.
I find this approach quite refreshing. If things go sideways in any area of my relationship. I look squarely at what happened and re-commit to a new set of choices from where I am.
Commitment is a choice, and it’s important to know that choice is only possible in the present moment, over some action step you can personally control.
Too often, especially in a relationship, people try to commit to a specific result instead of an action step. This approach automatically puts you in a passive role. Since many of the outcomes will involve the compliance of your partner, over which you have no control. In the old paradigm of relationships, compromise, and moderate personal fulfillment were tolerated. Today, our quest for personal fulfillment requires that we take a more active role in reaching agreements that both partners want to commit to.
When things go sideways next time, rather than tolerating despair or rebellion, ask yourself. What do I want to re-commit to now to get the relationship back on track?